I really love how things naturally become clearer with time.
Adventure into thinking about your own experience, have a look back at a difficult situation and remember how at one point you thought you were never going to work it out, and now here you are and it’s in the past. It went how it went, maybe it went as you wanted, maybe it didn’t. Perhaps you are in that void right now? Wondering how you’re ever going to have the light shined on a certain something – read on as this article is for you.
I could approach the unfolding of events in two very different ways.
I could come at the unknown with a sense of fear and uncertainty, I could be kept up at night with a pondering, wondering, worrying mind or I can have complete trust that things will work out as they’re meant to, and allow my ponderings not to be worrisome but instead to be productive. The latter, while it requires some work, also has in it the added bonus of being able to see the benefit or the teaching if things go differently to what I thought. I see that if I trust that whatever pops up in my life, is going to be something that I need at this point in time, even if at first glance it seems like it can’t possibly bare any fruitful necessity, then I’m never stressed by it, only curious and ready wholeheartedly to meet and explore it.
I have a very strong trust in things always being okay, no matter how they look.
I have found that in the past 10 years of testing out this way of life, having trust gives me great coping power and the ability to practically get on with whatever life throws at me. During my life, I’ve been stalked, robbed, played and double-crossed and yet my faith in humanity is strong but more importantly, the faith I have in myself is even stronger. I can’t say that I know where the trust comes from, other than having experienced time and time again that things are always okay no matter how they look, especially more so if I am being the person I aspire to be and taking action to support this.
Since the time that I’ve consciously had a hand in how my life unfolds rather than thinking that life is something that just happens to me, I have experienced the most magical times imaginable. My life feels like a very rich one which seems to just get better and better and this has nothing to do with having money, going on holidays, special occasions or anything that would obviously make my life feel abundant
Any opportunity is an opportunity for connection.
Without wanting to sound too otherworldly, the vastness of this universe is like an always-on, bright, uncomplicated place to reside so I check in with it as much as I can throughout the day, this, together with a deep appreciation for all things as they are, connect me to a sort of healing, energy bank. I know there is more to life than the phenomena that present itself to me on a daily basis and life is uber juicy as a result of this.
The times that make life feel so rich and wonderful are usually thought of by most as boring moments, things like being in shopping cues, in traffic jams, washing up, waiting to be served in a cafe, standing in line for the loo, walking alone, walking with someone, going to sleep, brushing my teeth, doing the necessary work that needs to be done each day, I use each of these places as a practice ground for mindful behaviour, deep allowing, appreciation and love connection.
This is the work I do, these and other daily practices are the actions that make my life flow so well. From this open place, I can create, I can heal, I can be present for myself, I can show up for others.
So what do I do when the unknown presents itself?
The decision that needs to be made? The life goals that need pondering on? I always, without acceptation, connect, appreciate, and connect in some more and then I might sit and meditate on the subject, then I get practical and start applying practice in certain areas to see what feels right. The dark and mysterious thing begging for my understanding slowly unravels, without any agonising thought, without me tearing my hair out and getting upset like I used to in the past because I just-didn’t-know!! No, now I just don’t know and this is what I realised the other day: I actually love that place now! and I get on with creating magic.
Sure, I get tested by illness, I get tested by my 5-year-old, I get tested by death and lovers and friends and organisations but still, my trust remains. I trust that if I am the best me that I can be, I’ll always be okay – I am honest and sincere, I am congruent in words and deeds, I am accountable to myself and because I value myself I don’t want to let myself down, so on the most part I don’t – but, and this is important, if I do, I am easy on myself. E a s y.
I used to say that I always put others first.
These days I am number one. If my daughter asks me who do I love the most in the world? I always answer, ‘Me of course, and then I can love everyone else all the more deeply and sincerely’.
It is me, who I say good morning to first, who I make coffee for, who I lovingly dress and appreciate before I leave the house. I see that when my love turns inwards it can flow out in a more caring and bountiful way. With a healthy love of myself, I have much more time for other people.
And now, through mindful practice and clear seeing, I can feel all of my emotions fully and not get pulled by them.
All the urges and surges in the body caused by thoughts and memories come up and I can do a number of things; I can sit with them kindly, I can jump up and down on the trampoline with them, dance into them and sometimes even roar like a lioness…. but I am watchful, they no longer happen without me holding their hand as they move on through.
From this new place, it’s exciting that I seem to be able to bring into my life the things that I need. Money! Houses! Flatmates! Holidays! Jobs! all with wonderful stories attached.
My experience as Kate Penning is always changing, nothing is permanent so of course the ever-changing display keeps unfolding, and as it unfolds I play my part in it as only a good actor can, except that this one is dedicated to the role of reality and truth in the here and now, understanding myself more with each experience, growing, learning, always becoming a better version of myself as I keep moving into the light so that I can become a lighthouse for others.
If you feel like you’re not the star performer effectively running the show of your life and you know that there is another way but don’t know how, please get in touch I’d love to help.